Living in a marriage with an alcoholic or drug addict may be a great challenge and poison your life if you don’t handle the situation properly. In the outcomes, about half of couples file for online divorce pa or any other services to quit life-damaging relationships.
If you are overwhelmed with uncertainties but feel suffocated with a marriage with an alcoholic or drug addict, here’s how you should act to stay sane and become happier in the end.
Before divorcing an addict, you have to be hundreds of percent sure you make the correct decision. If you still love your partner and have the power to support them through recovery from their addiction problems, regarding that your spouse wishes to heal and makes some attempts to succeed, there is a point in giving your marriage another chance.
But if your feelings have died long ago, neither of you commit to your relationships anymore; you are fed up with the outrageous and self-destructive behavior of your former beloved, quit the marriage without remorse. More than if you or your kids are unsafe around your partner, you shouldn’t hesitate anymore but leave your spouse for the better.
Once you are consent that it is time to quit your marriage, you should gather evidence of being a spouse of an addict. You see, addicts often lead a double life and are good at lying, so strangers and even close people are often blindsided. So, make sure to back your words so that judge believes you but not your vindictive spouse.
Here are some ideas for you:
- Keep a journal and note the details of your spouse’s drug or alcohol use and the aftermath;
- take photos of property damages and\or injuries your partner is responsible for;
- gather records from police reports, calls to police from you or your neighbors’ words concerning your partner’s actions if there were any;
- collect any available evidence from your family and friends related to the case.
This way, you will never be treated as a drama-maker, but the officials will take a serious approach to your case so that you will reach the top beneficial outcomes in the end.
When the family troubles include addiction and divorce, the situation often gets serious and involves domestic violence. If you know that your spouse may go berserk once you announce your divorce intentions. Or, if your family already suffers from their unsteady and aggressive behavior, you should care about your safety with no delay. Cover the following steps to protect yourself and your family:
- Collect an ‘escape bag’ with necessary clothes, docs, and cash so that you can grab it and leave any minute;
- inform your close relatives and friends about the possible emergency leave;
- care about a place you can escape to which is appropriate for you and your kids.
If an emergency happens and you have to leave your partner urgently for the sake of self-defense, inform your lawyer or social worker about it. This way, you will get a restraining order appropriate for your situation so that you can protect your family in legal terms as well.
Even if family life doesn’t include domestic violence and other emergencies, everyone knows that having a drug-addicted spouse often involves extra stress daily. And when you decide to end your toxic relationships, the divorce process will double your stress and tension. This means that regular self-care is vital if you wish to stay sane when divorcing alcoholics or drug addicts. Consider the following measures to care about yourself:
- Stick to a healthy lifestyle and find time and possibility for sound sleep;
- find at least ten minutes a day not to think about your trouble-making spouse and relationship hurdles but to do something that pleases you;
- practice yoga, meditation, religion to reach emotional and mental balance;
- open up to close relatives and friends to get support in time;
- visit a therapist and other relevant specialists to control and improve your physical and mental health.
Even if your partner opts for self-destructive mode, it doesn’t mean that your life should be destroyed as well. Care about yourself before, during, and after divorce so that you have the energy and desire to change your life for the better in the end.
Don’t forget that in case of any family troubles, your children suffer the most. So, you should make their wellness your priority, especially in tough times. Check out the following tips to deprive your kids of any sufferings:
- Talk to your children. Explain what’s going on, your partner’s problems with alcohol or drugs, your intentions, and upcoming changes. Do it in the age-appropriate form.
- Spend more qualitative time with your children to have a happy childhood even with serious family disorders around.
- Leave your kids out of your arguments.
- Cooperate with professionals and attend therapists together to deviate the negative impact of your family troubles on your children.
When it comes to your kids, you have to put maximum effort to guarantee their wellness and decrease any negative impacts. Otherwise, there is a high risk they will follow your unhappy family model in the future even without understanding it.
When you opt for divorcing an addict, you should be ready for possible aftermath that can prevent you from a happy future. You may be followed by the feeling of guilt and concerns about your ex’s further life. That is why you need to be definitely sure when deciding to end your marriage to be confident about your choice. Another trouble you may face in creating your next relationship with an alcoholic or drug addict as well since you are so used to such a family model you cannot make any different choice. Due to this, it is vital to cooperate with therapists before you can finally move on. So, when deciding to finalize the relationship with an alcoholic or drug addict, it is necessary to get ready properly to guarantee wellness for yourself and your family in the outcomes.